I typically don't paint men, but when an image appears in my mind via a dream I wake up and flush it out on the wood. Lately I have been realigning my desires to heal from the toxic (lack of) relationship with the man who helped me create two of the most beautiful children ever. For 5 consistent years I have subscribed to this rocky rollercoaster of mid to low peaks of pseudo happiness. After 4 years I discovered he was the trigger of many of my anxiety attacks.
Perhaps I held hope for him to one day "get it together" and be a active parent in the lives of his children but.... the reality is he moved on and created a whole new family. If that ain't a sign, I don't know what is. This concept came to me after working on my computer for hours. I posted on social media and a friend pointed out that the piece reminded her of the Native American's interpretation and understanding of shadows. I was not as a familiar so I googled.... This ‘portal’ of understanding translates as your shadow. This interactive understanding is an awareness that moves with you, except in case where you’ve been knocked out of alignment with your ‘portal’, in which case it can be said you’ve ‘lost your shadow’, a serious and even life threatening circumstance; with your loss of ability to ‘read’ surrounding environment. This ‘portal’ that follows (or precedes or surrounds) oneself is a critical component of essence or being in context of survival. If you cannot ‘read’, you cannot take what is offered, as you cannot take what you cannot see and you’ve become out-of-sync. As well, because your surrounding environment is sentient and aware, you may easily become the environment’s ‘offering’ for lack of this ability to read; this loss of yourself is recognized by the greater social awareness (your natural surroundings.) In this case, you could easily become the surprised kill. This last is akin to the wolf identifying and taking the weak of the herd. They ‘know’ because they have ‘shadow’ or portal of understanding as well. When the environment, which is sentient, aware and social, knows you are out-of-sync, it’s only a matter of time and you will be taken. Wow, this pretty sums up the thought process behind this piece. While it's not done yet, I will keep working on and see where the energy carries me. source: https://ronaldthomaswest.com/2018/04/06/lost-shadow/
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October 2018
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